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Did you know that women tend to marry earlier than men? In fact, the median age for women getting married for the first time is 26.9 years, compared with 29.5 for men. Moreover, about 43% of all marriages end in divorce by the 10th anniversary. And these stats are just a few examples of how dating someone who has already been through a divorce can be tricky. Dating an older divorced woman might feel like an uphill battle — but it doesn’t have to be! Here are a few helpful tips on how to date a young divorced woman in a way that leaves her feeling excited and intrigued about you as opposed to feeling used or uncomfortable.
Be honest about what you want.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, let her know — but also be upfront about what you’re not looking for. For example, if you’re not interested in marriage or kids, let her know in a non-judgmental way. You may not be ready or willing to commit to anything long-term, but if you want to date a young divorced woman, she’ll probably want to know that right up front.
Ask for what you need.
If dating a young divorced woman is bringing up emotional triggers for you, let her know. If you want to take things slow or want to avoid certain sexual activities, let her know. If you need a little extra emotional support during those first few dates, let her know. Dating doesn’t have to be a one-way street. While you should definitely be aware of her needs, too, you also have to be honest about what you need in addition to that.
Be compassionate about her divorce experience.
Not all divorces are bad divorces. In fact, many divorces are amicable. But even in cases where there is no bad blood between former spouses, a divorce is still an incredibly traumatic experience. As many as 60% of people who have been divorced report feeling depressed, and up to 25% of people who have gone through a divorce attempt suicide. So while you may only see dating a young divorced woman as a fun and exciting new opportunity, she may see it as an emotionally triggering reopening of wounds. Be patient with her as she works through her feelings of uncertainty and nervousness.
Don’t try to rush the relationship or have sex too quickly.
If you want to date a young divorced woman, odds are good that she’s looking to date casually or on a no-strings-attached basis. But you still don’t want to push her into anything she’s not ready for. And you definitely don’t want to have sex too early in the relationship. Sex is a massive line of demarcation in a relationship — and it should be treated as such. Don’t push for sex too early; instead, focus on having fun and getting to know one another.
Show her how dating can be enjoyable again.
Dating a young divorced woman who has been through trauma and perhaps even had her heart broken by more than one person can be difficult. Dating as a divorced person can feel stressful and like a constant reminder of the past. To help her see dating as an enjoyable experience again, be patient, be kind, and focus on having fun. Be a little silly and find ways to laugh together. Dating a young divorced woman doesn’t have to be a pain. Whether she’s divorced due to a death in the family, a breakup or divorce from a long-term partner, or a divorce from a more recent relationship, dating as a divorced person can be enjoyable again, with the right partner.